I hate it….but it won’t stop

Happiness seems to only last so long… I mean… I’m usually a pretty happy guy until life happens. When I say life, I mean just that. isn’t it funny how you have to hold on to happiness, but doubt, anguish,anger, andc fear can waltz in… literally, and sometimes they charleston in, just to remove your happiness and leave you longing for that day when you can smile, and tell someone next to you, ” I feel good today” for no aparent reason. Why does is seem to rain even when the sun is out? Is the sun sad too?   4:50 AM and everything crashes around me in my room. All illustrations and paintings become null and lifeless and they gasp for attention that I can’t give because my mind is occupied with melancolia from past winters of shattered love and listless bliss of an empty kiss, or troubled thoughts that cry out from all nerve endings leaving my balled up in the center of my room, prayering for someone elses closer so we can move forward….. 5:00 AM, no sleep… no sleep…no….sleep…….none. can’t sleep right because I can’t think right. Can’t find the right shampoo that can cleanse the tarnish mind of the down played and weathered man who has just began to live…. and somehow is already knocking at deaths door….. I’ll wait for you to get yourself together, but not in this lifetime, I’m tired and there is no remedy for this kind of pain…